Bands, Boys and bullshit
by sansa-sandor-shipper
Summary: Nicole, Jack and Roger have been best friends since they were four and have an unbreakable bond. They start a band called Blackjoy and become the hit of the school. But what will happen in their personally lives regarding coming of age and sexuality? With Roger/Simon and Roger/OC and Jack/Ralph and Jack/OC and OC/OC
1. Blackjoy

Jack, Roger and Nicole had been best friends since they were four and grown up with each other as well. When anyone suggested that Nicole liked either of them, she would almost be sick. She loved the boys but not that way...

When they were twelve they were round Jack's house for another of their many sleepovers and in-depth discussions about everything you had to worry about as a twelve years old. Which was nothing. All three of them liked music and played an instrument. Roger played the electric guitar, Jack the drums and Nicole was a singer, bass and piano player. She had often thought about starting a band, they definitely had the funding within their families to be alright financially but they never had really thought about it.

"Hey, shut up." Louise interrupted the boy's conversation about whatever it was and they both looked amused.

"Why don't we start a band, start doing covers and stuff?" The three looked from one to the other with excited smiles and went straight down to Jack's pool table and table football full basement. His dad had a certain obsession with Saracens as well and had a ton of the teams autographs on shirts in glass covered plaques, scarfs, gloves, hats, memorabilia, pictures, portraits and a really strange bobble head of Kristian Chesney...

But anyway, Roger walked back over the street to his house and got his guitar, and Nicole just went next door and brought over her bass and microphone. The three lived close to each other and it was a good thing, they could literally just shout across the street to one another.

When they had got all the amps connected to their instruments and tuned up, they tried to do a cover of Green Days basket case, but it wasn't exactly ideal. But they worked at it and a couple hours later they could play a full cover of the song with vocals from Nicole. They performed it too their parents and at the end it felt like a mini gig. At the end of the song, Nicole nearly screamed in delight, but dialed it down to an excited jumping fit.

That year, they were starting secondary school and it didn't seem to bad, because the three were going to the same school and they were in the same form. Luckily for them, they were two boys and a girl and just could sit boy girl like that in he tables of four.

"My sister said we'll have a briefing like assembly, and then go to put first lesson. What do you two have?" Jack asked. They got out their time tables and groaned. None of their lessons today were with each other.

"We're actually going to have to talk to people. Well this will be fun. Who's our tutor?" Nicole asked.

"No idea, bet she's a bitch though. Teachers usually are." Nicole laughed quietly at Roger.

"Yeah but you don't give a shit about school." And then Jack and Roger's eyes rose up above Nicole's head. She stopped talking and swore silently. Turning around she saw a large busty woman behind her, with hair above her lip and in between her eyebrows. A shirt that showed way to much of her chest and a weird long skirt that looked like a duvet, not to mention the shoes that looked like they belonged to a four year old.

"DETENTION!" She screeched. Roger burst out laughing and the teacher turned to him.

"AS IT'S SO FUNNY, YOU CAN COME BACK AT LUNCH AS WELL!" The teacher screeched again and Nicole had to bite her lip so she didnt laugh. As the teacher turned around to walk back to her desk, Roger punched Jack in the shoulder and Jack punched Roger back in the arm but the teacher turned around right then.

"ALL THREE OF YOU, DETENTION AT LUNCH TIME, AT 2.30 IF YOUR HERE ANY EARLIER I WILL ADD ON MINUTES!" The three friends groaned and in unison sank their heads on to the desk.

"I AM MISS FOREST!" She announced and the Nicole looked at Jack through her hands. They tried to hold it together as millions of vagina jokes came through their heads. Covering her mouth with her hand, Nicole stopped the laughter from escaping.

"YOU ARE MY NEW YEAR SEVENS AND I NEED TO SET SOME GROUND RULES." The three looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

"YOU WILL NOT TALK WHEN I AM TALKING, YOU WILL NEVER TALK OVER ANYONE, IF YOU CREATE ANY DISTRACTIONS IN THE CLASS YOU WILL MAKE UP THE TIME IN BREAK AND LUNCHTIME, AND IF YOU BREAK ANY OF THE SCHOOL RULES THAT ARE IN YOUR DIARIES, YOU WILL BE DEALT WITH ACCORDINGLY." Then the bell rang for the end of form time and the dreaded first period. But the door stayed shut.

"WE HAVE AN ASSEMBLY SO LINE UP AT THE DOOR BOY GIRL BOY GIRL." The teacher wrote her name on the board and then everyone stood up and lined themselves up, majority of them looked petrified but Nicole went in between the two boys.

"Who does this bitch think she is, like damn." Nicole went into her tip ties and whispered into Roger's ear making him smile. As they walked down the corridor, they held back a bit and got to end of the line so they could just walk side by side.

"Do we really have to go to this?" Jack whined and Nicole slapped his arm playfully Roger pushed Nicole into a wall and she pushed into Jack who pushed her back into Roger.

"Oi, I'm in the middle here. Piss off." She walked in front of them, and heard the boys talking about stuff and laughing as they entered the assembly hall with a menacing glare from their head of year as Roger walked to get in front of Nicole. As they sat down, they saw at least a hundred more kids sitting on red chairs in the hall before they were. They were clearly late and everyone had been waiting which created some laughs as they sat down awkwardly.

When they were all sat, the head master walked onto the stage.

"Good morning to you all, my name is Mr Marks and I will be your principle. So, a new year! A new start for all of you at a different school. As a starter activity I would like you to turn to the person on your right and ask them some questions about each other. Nicole sniggered as she turned to Jack and Roger groaned as he turned to a brown haired little boy with bright eyes. Roger's black hair covered his eyes and his eyeliner was perfectly sculpted under his eyes, you might understand once you know he loved Pete Wentz and Fall out Boy and My Chemical Romance.

"Whats your name?" Roger asked him, the boy seemed to be very nervous and fumbled with his hands.

"Simon." He said in a small voice. Roger waited for a following question but none came.

"Well, I'm Roger. What's your favourite singer or band?" Simon perked up at the mention of music.

"I like evanescene." It looked promising. "And Taylor Swift and Beyoncé and Motzart." Then all of Roger's hopes for a conversation about rock bands were dashed. His eyes opened a little wider at the mention of Taylor Swift, he didn't mind Beyoncé to be honest but classical is just boring.

"Who do you like?" He asked, Simon seemed to have realised that Roger wasnt listening.

"Well, Fall out Boy, Bring Me The Horizon, Green Day, Panic at the Disco and My Chemical Romance. Things like that." Simon looked a little shocked and Roger grinned.

"Those songs have bad words in them and my father won't let me listen to them."

"Do you want to?" Simon nodded and it made Roger think.

"Why don't you come back to mine after school, you can watch me and my friends jam together, we're a band. You can listen to rock and bad words all you want." Before discussing it to himself in his head, Simon smiled shyly and nodded.

"Okay everybody listen!" The headmaster brought the attention back to him. "I hope you learnt a lot about your fellow classmates, now I will hand over to your head of year Miss Way." Roger's stomach felt like it dropped. All he could think about now was Gerard and Mikey. Goddamit My Chem.

Their head of year went over what would be happening that day and everything that happens at the school before the bell rang for second period.

"We all have maths." Jack said to Nicole and Roger.

"What do you have now?" Roger looked at Simon.

"Maths with- MEK?" Roger nodded.

The four walked up to maths with Miss M Kellogg. The amount of cereal jokes were ridiculous but they didnt mind because they all sat on a table together. Simon was just glad to have people to talk to, but he was mostly quiet as the other three chatted throughout the day.

When it got to the end of the day and they went back to form, Simon sat on the table with them.

"Is it weird how I still feel zero tolerance for school and I still cannot be bothered. I feel like I could kill a cat right now." Jack declared as he slumped down in his seat and slung his bag onto the floor. He always was one to be dramatic. But Nicole didn't want to talk to anyone, even on her first day she had stacked up homework from all her lessons, if this was what secondary school was she didnt want to grow up. The only class she was positively good at was music and French, she had been fluent in French by the age of 10 from millions of lessons her parents got her so she could at least have one A* in her GCSE's which was all they cared about. The four went back to Jack's and crashed on his couch in the basement, Nicole just lay on the floor.

After a few minutes of basically bitching about people at the school, Roger, Nicole and Jack stood up and for together their set. Starting off with 'I don't care' 'dance, dance' 'teenagers' and 'teenage kicks'. Simon just sat there and stared at Roger, the way his hair moved across his brow and he closed his eyes on solo's. Or how his hands moved on the guitar strings, everything seemed to slow down when Simon looked at him and it made him blush.

"Yes boys!" Nicole yelled when they had finished their set. She high fived Jack and punched Roger on the arm making him smile as he turned his guitar slightly.

"Oh yeah, can you play the piano yet?" Jack asked Nicole. She put her microphone to the side of the room and lifted her bass off her shoulders.

"I guess yeah."

"Go on then." Jack gestured to the keyboard that was under the basement stairs. She rolled her eyes but then pulled out the keyboard and sat down. Pressing her fingers to the keys she began to play.

 _watch?v=hRS05UrRq9I_

"Well that was depressing." She said bluntly, Jack tossed her a bottle of Evian and she drank up.

"Isn't there a chorus at school?" Jack asked. Nicole nodded and turned to Simon.

"Do you sing?"

"No, well yes. In the church I do, but not in a group, I'd hate it. I have... episodes sometimes." Simon expression became more sad the longer the silence got. Only broken by Jack's mum.

"JACK, ITS NEARLY FIVE. NICOLE'S MUM WILL BE ROUND SOON, HURRY UP!" Nicole groaned and slowly slid to the floor off the chair.

"Get up you lazy shit, I'm going too." Roger put out his hand and she took it and was nearly up when Roger let go and she fell back. Roger was laughing but then Nicole grabbed hold of his leg and wouldn't let go.

"What the hell Nick." He groaned.

"In not letting go. You'll have to drag me. Hey Jack, set me my bag." Jack threw the bag at her face and she slung it over one shoulder as she pulled herself up and wrapped her legs around Rogers leg.

"Your so fucking heavy Nick, are you kidding me." She shook her head and smiled mockingly.

"Well you better come as well Simon." Roger gestured to the smaller boy who quickly got up and ran up the stairs.

"Strange, that one." Jack reminisced leaning back into his chair.

"Bye bitch." Nicole called as she was carried slowly up the stairs on Roger's leg. Jacks mum looked curiously at Nicole but shrugged it off and walked into the kitchen, Nicole and Roger burst out laughing as they headed out the door with the little mousey haired boy.

"Do I have to walk you home, literally?" Roger asked through his black hair.

"Pretty much, yeah." He closed the door behind him and slowly dragged his leg across the ground. Simon just walked behind the two, looking around at the large houses in the street. It was definitely a rich area, but he hadn't taken the three to be typical rich kids. Or at least what he expected, maybe they just had nice parents. Looking back to Roger and Nicole, they hugged before Nicole opened the door to her house and went in.

"Right, so are you getting the bus?" Roger asked him, Simon shrugged.

"I guess. But I don't know the route too well." Walking across the road, Roger walked for a couple more minutes with Simon trailing behind him before he got to a bus shelter, covered in ads and graffiti.

"When do you live, or where's you closest bus bay from this list?" Simon looked up and down the list before he pointed to a place and Roger nodded, counting on his fingers.

"Thats, five stops from here, the fare is £1.80 for a single. Do you have change?" Simon shook his head silently and Roger reached into his pocket and fished out a £2, Simon at first refused the dark haired boy but eventually accepted as the bus rolled in.

"Thank you Roger, for everything. I appreciate it." Roger nodded to Simon as he walked onto the bus, waiting till he was on the bus, Roger walked the way the bus was going and waved him off when he went.

2 months later.

"There's an open mic night. We should so do it!" Nicole yelled up to Roger and Jack as she walked up to her room. They were sitting there with bras and lacy pants of hers on over their school uniform.. Standing in front on the mirror and playing with their hair.

"Oh my God." Was all she could say.

"Please let me do your make up, pleas pleas please PLEAS please please PLEASE!" She slammed the door behind her and walked toward them.

"No." They said in unison, to be fair Roger alreadly had eyeliner on. But still.

"Awh, killjoys. Anyway, are we going to talk about this mic night or are Rogerina and Jackella just gonna stand there?" She asked, the boys smirked and sat on the bed taking off the underwear.

"Well it's next week." Nicole said pulling out the blue flyer.

"But it's for all years, of there's bands in the older years we'll look like idiots. We won't be better than them" Jack stared at Roger with an 'excuse me' face.

"Do you doubt me?" Jack asked Roger.

"No. But-"

"There's your answer, so shut up or leave." Roger stayed put, laying back and sighing.

"You wouldn't believe how many girls in the last week have asked, 'hey, are they your boyfriends? Or are they gay?' Then I'm just like. 'Oh my God, I didn't know you were so 2 dimensional and judgemental, bitch.' I can't stand the girls at that school. But I have hardly any lessons with you guys. It's so boring."

"Well they're all bitches anyway, and we hate them all at that school, or at least us two do. Rogieboi has an admirer and it's kinda clear to see." Roger perked up and raised an eyebrow.

"Who?"

"Guess."

"Girl or boy."

"Yes or no questions idiot."

"Fine. Is it a girl?"

"No." Roger and Nicole looked at each other. They'd never really talked about sexuality between them, they had just assumed that the other was straight. Nicole knew she was straight, she didn't have a problem with the lgbt community but unless something happened, she was sure she was straight.

"Oh, well. Are they in our form?" He sounded a little worried.

"Yes." Jack answered.

"Does their name begin with S?" Roger covered his face with his hands.

"Yes." Jack looked surprised. "So you knew it was Simon!" Jack yelled.

"Shut up! I wasn't sure, I don't know how it works with two guys. Is it different?" He looked at Jack.

"How the fuck should I know?" Jack sounded insulted and Roger smirked.

"Do you like him?" Nicole asked casually. There was a long pause then Roger hid his face in Nicole's pillows

"Oh my God you do. That's so adorable!" She squeaked, she wasn't sure why it was cute. Guessing it was because her best friend of 8 years had never expressed an interest in anyone.

"I don't know man. I like him but I don't know. Maybe it's just a friend thing or maybe I like like him, I just don't know." He said into the pillow, it was all a bit muffled.

"Does that make you gay then?" Nicole asked and Roger threw her a glare. "Oi I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just trying get the whole picture." She smiled at him.

"Well I guess I should say, we don't care either way." Jack added. "I mean, we won't judge and all that shit." Roger sat up and looked at them through his dark hair, sitting in between the two friends he smiled slightly then put his arms around both of them and pulled them into a group hug.

"Bundle!" Nicole yelled. She pushed Roger onto the floor then jumped on him, then Jack jumped on them and they groaned. With Jack sitting on top of them.

"I... Can't... breathe. Why...are...you...so...heavy...Jack...you...fat...shit?" Nicole just managed to get out an insult even with the shortness of breath. Jack got off them and as Nicole and Roger were just about to get up, he jumped on them again and Nicole yelped.

"Your such a bellend Merridew." Roger yelled at him.

"Oh I know. This seems a perfect time to discuss Mic night." Jack pondered with Roger and Nicole swearing constantly.

"We should do like every Panic! song ever." Nicole groaned.

"Well, some of them. We only have time for a three song set, so if we do two of them together and then an acoustic to finish. We could have a good set." Nicole managed to get out.

"Let's do it." Roger said in a low voice.

"Wait! We don't have a name!" She exclaimed. They put through various dirty jokes and just plain stupid suggestions like lick my ass and suck my dick. Till they decided on Blackjoy.

A week later.

"I'm going to pee myself. We're the last act, are you fucking kidding me! Plus, we are the only ones from year seven. The rest of the people in this are aged 16 and up!" Nicole quietly freaked out backstage from the mic night. Jack a nd Roger smirked at eachother as she fussed with her eye makeup and made sure that they could get their set done in time. Nicole could get stressed over anything but this was too much from her, she was the only singer besides Roger doing back up and more attention would be on her than the other two. Which put a ton of pressure on her.

"Nicks. Sit down and relax, we still have about 5 more minutes till this groups set is done. You have planned this amazingly and everything is going to be fine, we will play better than we have ever played." Jack told her as he pushed her slowly into a chair.

*knock knock* "if you guys could come into the wings now. The drum set is alreadly up, you just need to push it forward." One of the back stage people said through the door. Nicole was about to freak out but she breathed in and out slow then stood up. Picking up her bass, she slung it over her shoulder and headed for the door.

"Oi Nick, get over here." Jack called. She turned and smiled to the boys as they stood in a circle and put their arms around each others shoulders into a group huddle.

"Okay, so guys, no pressure but, this could be out big break and we just need to play like we play when we are in my basement. When we're natural and it's just a normal thing, don't even think about anyone else at all. Just focus on being mother fucking awesome." Jack said grinning in a sort of crazy way, but then they were all grinning like Cheshire cats as they strolled down the corridor backstage and into the wings.

There's a moment before you go on stage before doing anything and you just fall apart in your mind. All you can think are negative thoughts and they don't leave till you either run or walk on that stage and say fuck it to fear. As Marilyn Monroe said it, " _We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets."_

Nicole just thought that as she walked on stage behind the curtain as they quickly set up. The lights were down and then Roger began to play slowly and Nicole took a deep breath as the lights came on.

Their set was possibly one of the best entries the school had had in a long while and by the end, everyone was jumping up and down and cheering along even if they didn't know the words.

 _"Fear of the dark, fear of the dark_

 _I have a constant fear that something's always near_

 _Fear of the dark, fear of the dark_

 _I have a phobia that someone's always there."_

 _watch?v=5p2B59ht-O4 &itct=CBUQpDAYBCITCMyn_eGl6ckCFYKzFgod1EsH-TIHcmVsYXRlZEjY_8PYzfWc860B_

 _"People try to put us d-down (Talkin' 'bout my generation)_

 _Just because we g-g-get around (Talkin' 'bout my generation)_

 _Things they do look awful c-c-cold (Talkin' 'bout my generation)_

 _Yeah, I hope I die before I get old (Talkin' 'bout my generation)"_

 _watch?v=YYAuDkndZZk_

 _"Because the drugs never work_

 _They're gonna give you a smirk_

 _'Cause they got methods of keeping you clean_

 _They're gonna rip up your heads_

 _Your aspirations to shreds_

 _Another cog in the murder machine"_

watch?v=WMtOpjBsFIA

When they were on the last chorus of _Teenagers_ Nicole took the mic of the stand and just started jumping around with Roger as they sung together.

"Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me!" Roger and Nicole yelled into the mic as they stopped playing and Roger flung his fringe out of his face. Jack roared in happiness with his drumsticks in the air as the school hall full of people cheered.

"We have been Blackjoy thank you!" Nicole yelled down the mic as the curtains closed. Roger picked up Nicole and span her around and then Jack jumped on them. Being the largest, Jack pulled the other two into a group hug and they were all yelling and smiling and still exhilarated from it.

4 years later...


	2. Missed calls and Butterscotch hair

Nicole, Roger and Jack were now 16 and still best friends, still single and still in Blackjoy. The friends found solace in each other rather than partners. Their relationship with Simon had slowly faded away and the talk of Roger being gay was never spoken of again. The success of the band was undeniable, with many victories in competitions in London and locally, high numbers at local gigs and even a website had been set up for them.

As the three were walking home from school one day, they heard a commotion with cries and yelling in the park behind the school that led into the downtown area. But not many people used it.

"FAGGOT! YOU DISGUSTING PIECE OF SHIT!" We're just some of the things being yelled. Nicole ran into the park to see a group of about 5 boys in their year kicking and punching a smaller boy on the floor and calling him a faggot.

"What the hell! Stop it!" She yelled, Jack and Roger were soon standing next to her. Now at least two heads taller than her, both of them were about 6ft 4 while Nicole was only 5ft 7. The main person in the group turned and left the others to carry on beating up the smaller kid.

"Do you like girls then faggot?" He said to Nicole in a patronising voice.

"No, but I'm pretty sure I could get down with that. Once your done being a prick!" She yelled.

"Fuck you. That fag had it coming to him, should stop raping little boys he finds in clubs and jerking off old men." Nicole was fuming by now. But she knew punching the dickhead would only make matters worse.

"Come on man. Leave the kid alone." Jack said to the leader. There were a lot of things Jack was hated for, but he would never be homophobic.

"Why?" Roger didn't seem to need an answer, as he punched the bully in the face and kicked him to the floor, finishing him with a swift kick to the stomach. Kneeling by him, Roger hissed.

"Because he is an innocent little kid who can't take care of himself. If he's breaking the law then he would have been arrested by now. But big surprise, he's not. So tell your boys to fuck off." The leader took a moment to stand but when he did he hobbled down the hill calling his chavs to come follow.

Nicky ran to the kid and turned him over. It was Simon, he had cuts and bruises and was bleeding all over. It looked like they had been throwing things at him and really hurt his skin.

"Call an ambulance, now!" She yelled at Jack. Holding Simon's head in her lap she kept saying he would be okay and that nothing bad was going to happen, but Simon just kept crying. Then Roger sat down next to Nicole and took Simon's hand. Jack was on the phone to emergency services and Simon just kept crying while Roger held his hand like his life depended on it. It smudged his eyeliner and made it run, even if Roger would never admit it. Then Simon passed out.

When Simon woke up, he was in a hospital bed with Roger, Jack and Nicole around his bedside. He tried to say something but his throat burned and hurt like hell.

"Don't try to talk sweetheart. You've had a kick to the neck, this time they didn't stop." The nurse at the foot of his bed said to him.

"Wait, there have been multiple attacks?" Jack asked standing behind Nicole. The nurse nodded and walked away. The four teenagers were silent and a few tears escaped Nicole's eyes.

About a week later, Simon came out of the hospital and was in school again. The three weren't aloud to always be with him at the hospital so it was a surprise when they saw him. He had a wooly hat and scarf on and tried to ignore the jeers of "Gay!" And "FAGGOT!" And "Cock sucker!" But Roger could see he was hurt.

Nicole and Jack were alreadly in music and Roger should have been heading that way. But instead he went and sat next to Simon on one of th me tables in the atrium. Simon looked surprised but didn't keep his head raised for too long because of the damage you could see on his face. The two boys sat in silence, but Rogers presence scared off anyone saying anything to Simon and perhaps that was all he needed.

The abuse did continue throughout the day because Roger couldn't always be with Simon, and by lunch it became to much for Simon. He ran into the empty bathroom and leant against the side of the cubicle. Reaching slowly into his bag pocket, he pulled out a small Swiss army knife. Breathing slowly he lay it against his skin as tears fell down his face and he sniffed. Then someone walked in and punched the door that he was in open.

It was Roger. Roger who could clearly see what was about to happen, Roger who had comforted him, Roger the one who Simon had had a crush on but also wanted as a friend. The taller boy took the blade from Simon and folded it back into its original shape, then shoved it in his pocket. Then he held Simon's wrists and shut the cubicle door.

The were impossibly close and Simon didnt know if he could take it much longer. Roger got almost nose to nose with Simon, staring at him with curiosity and a naivety between his black fringe. Simon thought that Roger was messing with him. There was no way that this beautiful black haired boy liked him. They were nose to nose now and Simon didn't breath. Rogers hands swiftly took hold of Simon's and he seemed to be turning his head and leaning in.

Before Roger could react, Simon had Roger pressed against the opposite wall and was pressing his lips to his. Simon ran his hands up Roger's shirt and let the other in his hair. Kissing him felt amazing.

But he didn't have much time to feel like that because Roger suddenly ran out of the cubicle and out of the toilets leaving a pink faced Simon to sit on the toilet lid with his head in his hands.

Roger knew that being attracted to Simon wasn't something to be afraid of or be ashamed of. But how could he help it when there was such a negative reception for it? He wouldn't be able to face Simon anymore, he had just witnessed Simon, a pure angel in all this madness about to harm his perfect body, running a hand through his hair then walked over to Nicole and Jack who were throwing food at each other.

Looking down at the table, he hid his eyes with his hair and hoped neither of them saw the test that fell onto the table. Roger's lip began to quiver and he just wanted to cry out loud and not have people judge him, even though he trusted his friends entirely, he didn't want to cry in front of them.

"Roge? What's up?" Nicole suddenly brought him out of his thoughts and Roger looked up at her. His eyeliner had run down his face again and it was obvious he had been crying. Nicole took his hand and bit her lip in worry. She knew that Roger wasn't one to talk about his feelings but he always needed someone there.

When Jack saw Simon walk pink faced and red eyed out of the toilets Roger had just run out of, he knew something must be going on.

"We have music next, and miss will let us go into the piano room alone. There's just a couple more minutes Roger, your okay." Jack said silently.

"Oi are you two together now." Nicole looked behind Roger and saw the leader of the group that attacked Simon saunter up and nod to her holding Roger's hand.

"No Donovan. Fuck off." She practically yelled. Not caring if teachers heard, some of the younger kids started laughing and Donovan told her to fuck herself before strolling off. Then the bell went.

In that music lesson Roger said nothing. When Simon sat as far away from Roger as possible in form he said nothing. As they walked home, Roger said nothing and as the tall boy walked up to his house his two friends followed him into his house. Nicole shut the door and Roger broke down then. Sitting on the stairs, he began to cry and cry like he had to.

Sitting down next ro him, Jack pulled Roger into a hug and held him close. Nicole soon joined them, she began to cry a little too, she always was the more sensitive one. So few minutes after, Roger had called down enough to think straight and he pulled away from Jack.

"Are you going to tell us yet?" Nicole asked through tears. She leant on the redheads shoulder.

"Yes." He said bluntly, closing his eyes, he saw Simon. Smiling like he always used to, he looked happy and that was all Roger wanted. But he foulent make him happy.

"Its, its Simon. I think I might like him, but I like girls too. I like him and I can't and I shouldn't want to and I don't understand how I can like him but I do and it's scary. I'm jealous of everyone and anyone that could ever get close to him because I can't, I want to, I want to hold him. I want to be able to hold him in public and not have people yell faggot. It doesn't happen woth a straight couple. I stopped him from self harming today, I took away the swiss army knife." With a shaky hand, he pulled out the knife from his pocket and handed it to Jack.

"I don't want to live another day if I can't have him." Roger ended with, he looked as his friends with tears in his eyes as his breath caught in his throat. There was just silence as neither knew what to say.

"Well then have him. He likes you Roge. I don't see why your so upset. Man I love you and all and I'll always be here, but can't you just tell the kid?" Jack pierced the silence and Nicole just looked at the floor.

"Call him then."

"What?"

"Call him." Roger concluded before running upstairs and slamming his door shut.

"Ill call him." Nicole told Jack. "You can go, if you want." As she stood up, the taller boy did as well and blocked her way. Nicole stared up at the red head and opened her mouth slightly, Jack pressed himself against her so she as against a wall. He ran his hands underneath her shirt and got closer to her face. Before leaning forward and pressing is lips to hers.

It was a messy scramble of hands and first kisses with them. Well they thought it was each others first. It was probably their fifth. Nicole had said she would never like either of the boys and she still thought she never would, not really. But she couldn't deny being physically attracted to Jack, she always did like the worst ones.

His hands began to snake up her shirt and hoist up her skirt and Nicole began to unbutton Jacks shirt and rip it off his shoulders. Then they heard a car pull up outside. It was like two deer in head lights as Nicole ran up the stairs to the bathroom and Jack ran in to the toilet downstairs.

"Hey Roger, I just came to check up on you darling." Roger could hear his mother slightly through the blaring sound of I'm not okay, my chem. He cried into his pillows and didn't want to ever get up. Then there was a knock on his door.

"Roge. What's wrong sweetie?" His mum couldn't have been more different to him and insisted on calling him thinks like darling and sweetie. It annoyed him beyond belief but he just didn't answer the door and eventually he hears his mum leave and drive back to work.

Nicole looked through her contacts as she sat against the bathroom door with a hand running through her hair. When she found Simon's there was a pause before a click. The recurring ringing made her more and more nervous that he wouldn't reply. Til the voicemail came through. Ending the call, Nicole called again, voice mail. Then three more times before an angry voice that definitely wasn't Simon yelled down the phone.

"WHO IS THIS!" The man yelled.

"Nicole, I'm Simons friend." His heavy breathing began to calm.

"A girl. Ah, well, talk to Simon." She could hear some hushed voices and a shouting match till the phone was passed on.

"Hey Nicole." Simon sounded sadder than Nicole had ever heard him before and she bit her lip, perplexed.

"Simon, who was that?"

"My father. He found out about the rumours of me being gay, and has been yelling at me, he's pretty much said if the rumours are true that he will never support me and that no good child on God's green earth would be how I am. Also that I am now a child of Satan and if i ever want to be accepted by anyone I should go back on my choice." He laughed sadly.

"My choice? Why would I ever choose to be like this, why would anyone?" There was silence and Nicole heard Simon's breathing that sounded like crying.

"Simon it's Roger. He needs you, he wants you. He told me okay. He thinks you don't like him and that he's disgusting and that he should never feel like he does. Please. Come over." Simon said nothing for a while, then he hung up and Nicole wondered wether she had done something Turning off her phone she leant it against her chin and closed her eyes.

A hour later.

Nicole and Jack had left, Roger was sitting in silence against his door, he just stared into saoce and threw a ball at wall. Then there as a knock at the front door and Roger stood up suddenly. He waited for another knock, and when there was another he raced down the stairs and looked out the window behind the curtain. It was Simon.

He looked possible as scared as he had ever looked when Roger opened the door. Neither of the said anything as Roger opened the door for him to walk in and as Roger shut the door he wanted to say something encouraging but the words wouldn't come out. So he just walked up the stairs and Simon followed him timidly.

Roger stood in his room and shut the door as Simon walked in.

"I got this for you, to say sorry." Simon said nervously, holding out a grey album called vessel by a band called... twenty one pilots? Whoever that was, Roger took the album and looked on the back before laying it on his desk.

"I'm sorry Roger." Simon said with a tear running down his face, Roger bit his lip and didn't look up.

"I know you don't like me like that and I shouldn't have done anything. Just please do tell anyone at school, i know we're not friends. But if my dad finds out I'm gay then he will abandon me. Please." Roger still didn't say or do anything. He just clenched his fists and covered his face with his fringe.

"Apology accepted." Roger managed to choke out and he heard Simon sniff and let out a breath. The smaller boy collapsed down on a chair and began to cry uncontrollably.

"No one will ever want me, I'm disgusting, dad was right. What the point, no one wil ever like me if I'm like this. What's wrong with me?" He cried into his hands.

"Simon it's okay don't-" Simon suddenly looked up and seemed to be realising where he was.

"I'm, I'm sorry. Ill see you at school." He sprinted out of theater house, quicker than he had ever run.

Roger felt like an idiot, why did he let him go. All the thoughts in his head were conflicting the last and he couldn't sort one from another, it made him want to scream. But instead he ran down stairs, grabbing his key as he ran outside and slammed the door shut. Running down the road he tried to catch up with the bus that was far to far away from him. He ran straight into town until this breath ran out and he had to let Simon go.

Hot tears ran down Roger's face and he ignored the stares he was getting, then he ran home and carried on in the depressed state he was alreadly in.

2 months later.

"Earth to Roger. Hello idiot?" Jack said bringing his friend back out of his thoughts.

"What?" Roger asked, sounding so uninterested it was funny.

"Look, over there. There's a girl totally scoping you. She likes you man." Peering around Jack, he saw a girl with butterscotch hair and tanned skin staring at him, when she noticed he was string back she blushed and looked away . She looked sweet but there was no way that girl liked him, Jack had to be mistaken.

"But she's fit, how does she like me?" The red head shrugged.

"I'm going to go talk to her." Jack smiled suspiciously and walked casually over to the girl and her friends. Roger looked round at her and didn't make a movement with his face, he hadn't been interested in anyone since all the shit with Simon. When Merridew strolled back he raised an eyebrow.

"Her name is Effie, she's in our year, been here since the begin but I don't remember her. She has a crush on you Roger no life and really likes you, plus she's really nervous and shy and all that shit. Oh and she loves rock." She literally sounded perfect and looked perfect too, her uniform was perfect to the tie that ended just where her stomach started and her skirt that was just above her knees. The black tights that clung to her skin, pumps that made a sound when she walked and her blazer ad shirt that clung to her anxious aura. Her eyes were dark brown, nearly black with long black eyelashes that looked beautiful natural. Her face was small with hardly any definition in her cheeks and no dimples but her lips were full and brown. With butterscotch hair and red cheeks that shone in the sunlight and made her, beautiful.

"You look smitten." Jack brought him out of his thoughts once again and Roger smirked.

"Kind of." He muttered.

"You like her don't you!" His voice rose to an excited hush.

"Good thing she's coming over now then innit." Jack added turning around. Roger looked around him and no word of a lie, the pretty girl with the butterscotch hair was walking over. His palms got a little sweaty and he pushed his fringe out the way as she stood shyly at their table.

"Hey, hey Roger." She managed to hiccup out, her voice went higher as she said Roger and Jack nearly laughed.

"I'll just leave you two then. Sit down, please." Pulling out the chair for the girl, Jack left and she sat down in front of Roger.

"I really-."

"Thank you-"

"You can talk."

"No you, please."

"Okay, I um. I like you Roger and whenever even talked to you before and I know its stupid and childish and all that but I do, I know I like you and I juat wanted to tell you." The girl with the butterscotch hair smiled anxiously.

"I mean I've never seen you before." Her head dropped. "But that's probably because of Jacks fat head being in way all the time." She looked up and giggled slightly, Roger smiled back at her and pushed his fringe from his face again.

"Do you wanna come back to mine after school and just, hang out I guess?" Her face seemed to light up when he asked and she nodded with a nervous smile hiding behind her hair. Then she got up and practically ran away down the corridor and out of the cantine.

By the end of the day, Roger was almost expecting her to bail on him, but sure enough, there she was. Walking up to him outside school she smiled and tilted her head a little. Nicole's told behind them with Jack and they acted out her fainting over seeing Jack and fawning over him. Roger smirked but Effie looked worried.

"Don't worry about them, they're my dick heads of best friends." Roger remarked as they carried on walking up the hill.

"You live up here. Wow, the houses are big here."

"Like ma dick." Nicole muttered and Jack laughed, Roger wanted to slap them both. When they finally got to their houses, Jack and Nicole ran over to one side and headed over to Jacks while Roger walked up to his house and let himself in.

"Woah." Effie muttered as she walked up the stairs to Roger's room. "Your house is so cool." As they got into Roger's room, Effie went straight to the CD rack. Pulling out vessel she looked surprised at the wrapped up album. It was the one Simon had given him that fateful day.

"You can play it if you want." Roger said laying back on his bed. Effie smiled and delicately unwrapped the album and carefully placed it in the bin. Opening the album, she stared at it for a minute before laying the disc into the player, Roger couldn't help but look at her perfectly shaped arse, he couldn't get a boner so he looked up at the ceiling.

A steady beat began to pay out of the player and they a whole load a rap that Roger could not understand. Effie came and sat down at the end of his bed and looked around awkwardly.

"Whos this?" Roger asked, even if he knew plainly what it was.

"Twenty one pilots. There's two members in it, Tyler Joseph who raps and sings and all that, and Josh Dunn that plays drums ." She then proceeded to give an in-depth explanation of twenty one pilots, it was only after ten minutes that she looked at Roger.

"I'm sorry. I should just stop talking now." She looked down and Roger sat up, closing the space between them.

"Let's do 21 questions. We ask 21 questions and answer so we can get to know each other." She nodded.

"I'll start, how many siblings do you have?" Roger asked.

"Three. Three brothers, not ideal. How many do you have"

"None, but i consider Nick and Jack as my siblings, um, who's your favourite band or singer?"

"My favourite is probably Green Day or Fall out Boy. Their hiatus is depressing. What's your favourite tv show?"

"Game of Thrones i guess, or Sherlock, it's all I really watch or films. Is your hair naturally a butterscotch colour?"

"Yeah, I was quite lucky I guess, is your hair naturally black?"

"Yep, it just adds to the natural emo looks, I bet even if I wasn't one that people would thinking was because of my goddamn fringe. Do you like My Chem?"

"Of course, they're one of my favourites, have you been to any concerts?"

"No, have you?"

"I've seen Green Day, All Time Low and a bunch of other people I'm pretty sure you don't like, people like Rizzle Kicks and Labrinth. But anyway, where are your family from?"

"England, Italy and Ireland."

"England, New Zealand, Antigua and somewhere in Africa on my mums side, we don't know where but somewhere in the south. Her ancestors were from Africa but taken over to Antigua in the slave trade I think but i was born in London so I'm not really from anywhere interesting."

"You seem kinda emo, I mean in music taste and all that, ever thought about emerging yourself?" Roger smirked.

"I mean, I love rock but I love colours and bright things and happy stuff, loads of my friends have been in depression and had anxiety and problems. So I can see how horrible it can be, I want to be the one that can cheer them up and get some fun into their lives. Plus I have nothing to be sad about, I'm thankful for everything i have, what got you emo?"

"In reality I think I've always been one, I just didn't label me listening to Green Day non stop as emo, or getting depression all the time and wearing eyeliner. Have you ever got off with someone?" Effie blushed but pushed her hair away from her face

"No one ever liked me, and I never liked anyone. Plus I don't really like parties, it practically a bunch of teenagers pretending to be drunk when they're actually just hyper or stupid, plus I only turned 16 two months ago. What about you, ever got off with someone?"

"Well, I nearly did with af guy, but nah, not yet. But Jack is just adding to the list of girls he claims to have fucked." Roger rolled his eyes, his best friend claimed he ad fucked his first girl at 14 and just last week he had a handjob from a thirty year old. Yeah, sure Jack.

"Oh, are you in with that stuff?"

"Well no, well yeah, but i like girls as well."

"I was just wondering you know so I'm not wasting your time." There was a silence only filled by the hushed tones of her singing along to the track.

"You are surrounding all my surroundings, sounding down the mountain range of my left-side brain, you are surrounding all my surroundings, twisting the kaleidoscope behind both of my eyes, and I'll be holding on to you and I'll be holding onto you." When she noticed Roger staring she blushed and stopped singing. Effie looked around his room and noticed the millions of posters pasted around his room and on his ceiling. Also how the room lacked mirrors, there weren't any from what she could see.

His room and floor were black, his bedsheets were striped with black and red, the wardrobe door that was slightly open showed a space where a mirror had definitely been ripped out from and a wardrobe of black, red and school uniform. Roger must have noticed her staring and shut the wardrobe door. It surprised Effie and she jumped before looking down again.

"Look um, maybe I was wrong about coming here I mean your clearly uncomfortable with this situation and I don't want you to feel that so maybe I should just go." Effie was about to stand up when Roger stopped her, pulling her back onto the bed, she was closer then before and she looked down so as not to have eye contact.

"Don't go." Rogers fingers dug into her waist painfully but she didn't squirm, she stayed still and looked up at him, her mouth slightly open. Shuffling backwards, Roger leant against the head board and Effie sat in front of him, then Roger pulled her onto him so she was straddling him right up close to his face. One of her hands rested on his chest, the other leant on the bed.

Roger slid off his blazer and tie, and tugged Effie's off, throwing it onto the floor. Slowly he began unbuttoning her shirt going higher and higher till he reached her tie and flung it onto the floor with her shirt. Her breasts were big with a black bra holding them up, her skin was tanned and made Roger want to kiss her everywhere, reaching around to her back, he found the zip on her skirt and was about to pull it when she stopped him.

"We can stop if you want?" Roger rasped seeing shivers down Effie's spine. She put her hands back onto Roger and tried to unbutton his shirt but he stopped her.

"What are you doing?" He asked, offended.

"Taking off your shirt.." She added.

"Why?"

"Because we both take our clothes off." Effie was confused and got off Roger, putting her shirt back on she buttoned it up and stood above Roger.

"Whats wrong? You don't have any mirrors, you won't let me take off your shirt, what's going on?" Roger didn't answer and just stared down, he began to undo his cuffs on his long sleeved shirt. Effie could see his eyes were glassy and he seemed upset.

Turning both his wrists over he revealed the scars, hundreds of small lines up and down both arms, then he unbuttoned his shirt and showed her the few scars on his chest. Pulling up his trousers he showed her the scars there too, Effie was taken aback and when Roger saw her shocked expression he got up and walked to the side of the room facing the wall.

Effie left it a couple of seconds before walking over too him and wrapping her arms around his middle she hugged his back as his head bowed he turned around and hugged Effie is return. They stayed like that for a good couple minutes before Effie looked up at him with a smile and kissed him on the cheek.

"How can you be so happy?" He muttered as he rested his chin on Effie's head. She rested her head on his bare chest with her arms wrapped around him.

"I can try to make you happy. I promise I will." It just made him hug her a little harder.


End file.
